Stay strong my dear, I'll always love you.

Life's a fking bitch.

Is there any more to say?

I'm so overloaded with emotions, I feel like on the verge of a breakdown. But its too early, I tell myself, I gotta stay strong, its only half a month of January. I've got a lot of things inside my head, its bugging me much, I wanna talk to someone, but no one. So many issues in my head, bugging me constantly. I'm trying to put on a facade, a facade of happiness, but I guess its not working. BloodyHell I feel like shit totally. And I know I'm not one who will seek someone just to talk about whatever's bugging me. Forget it Aline Chan, get a life!

I gotta be Strong
I gotta be Independent

Trng sucked totally for me today. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus well, I couldn't get my left leg kicks right today, I couldn't see cause of the stupid blinding sun, ugh I hated myself so much today, I felt like kicking myself ! Asshole!

And I just can't stop thinking about it.

I feel so cheated today and I can't understand why. I guess I never will because I have never really been able to. I keep telling myself to forget it. I keep trying to think of an alternative reason why so, or should I say excuse, but the matter just keeps bugging me at the back of my head. Arrgghh please go away and let me be alone in this world. I can't stand it when it changes so quickly, its like the freaking weather. You always make me sad, I don't know why I'm still here. One letter suffice: The letter L.

Hate that I love you.

So school's started, its day 2 and I'm feeling the tiredness already. Thank goodness there's some sexy talk tomorrow, a good day to take a break. School's been nothing but yawns and laughter, especially meeting up with my classmates after so long. Wanling, my laughing partner is back, and to add on to our PC and IPC, we found SIPC! Mandy my slow-walker is back too, and I've decided to dissolve my resolution of 'fast walk'. I've rediscovered the joy of walking slowly, too much influence from the soccer peeps during the hols I guess, that I've to make a conscious effort to walk fast. Of course, Weiting Yanyi Fang who always walk fast, seems like Yanyi have joined the dark side.

Nothing much different about school, except that we end earlier most days, and I'm paying more attention in tutorials and lectures XD! B-O-R-I-N-G!

O's results were out yesterday. I really really wish that all our juniors can make it to VJ, by hook or by crook, through appeal or just barging their way in, its never nice to lose anyone. IJ juniors did better than our batch, but..owells comparing us to schools like Cedar and St Nicks, I have nothing to say :/ My cousin did really well, and I'm so proud of him. Yesterday felt like a day of tension, even though it had nothing much to do with me. I was staring at my phone, waiting for texts from my juniors, hoping in fear that they will text back with a smile instead of unspoken sadness.

We got back our 16PF today today. One of my comments was : I spend too much time WISHING that things will be easier or to fix themselves. HAHA!

My holidays ended off with a BANG with these lovely kids. Dining at Shokudo, replay of scenes, houseflies, Slutch dessert (A Slut & a Bitch), big Canon camera and a whole new spot specially designed for camwhoring-NYDC's old campus! We had to face the risks of potential camera thieves and lots of staring though ): In the blurry rush of madness since holidays have started, or should I say, since 2008 started and I hardly had the chance to meet up with all of them anymore, I almost forgotten how absolutely FUN and amazing it was to just giggle with them, laugh at ourselves and just have a good time together. Presents exchange-the highlight, with the usual loud THANK YOUS and fighting over who gets to give out the gifts first. Thank you to the beautiful six who really made my whole holiday such a lovely one just with that one outing alone. You guys really mean the world to me and I LOVE YOU KIDDIES ! Sorry for giving only a 'grad cert', I promise better next time!

Peeektures all stolen from Juicy-the one with the pro canon:













School's starting tomorrow, OH BOY! If I though the holidays were hectic, think again.
Face it Aline Chan, life's not gonna be easy, but like what a friend said, 'hang on to the good memories'. These kids in the photos shall keep me running no matter how tired I am!

I've been really really happy these past few days, despite running myself tired by waking up at 6 plus AM, helping Mummy out at her busybee shop. Busying myself to forget, perhaps. I'd rather stick to it that way. Love is a strange thing; it heals and it hurts.

What Aline did:

Dragged herself out of bed
Study
Ate a lovely meal cooked by Korkor's Girlfriend
Study
Met Bing for TauHuay
Study at Tuition Centre
Went early for consultation
Tuition = Study
Stayed back after for more consultation
Ran 4.8km !!
Study !
Study !!
Study !!!
Study !?!?

I'm going insane! Why am I even trying so damn hard for this stupid re? Cause I wanna prove to myself and those who have faith in me that I can actually do Chem. If I screw this paper up again, I'll condemn myself to eternal Hell-Of-Chem and just UGH! I'm actually starting to like and understand Chem, so pleaseee let the paper be do-able!

It's TOMORROW!!!
The Day I Die Smiling.

My brains are super fried after almost 10 hours of Studying+Eating+Bumming!

Enantiomers;Coufeee;BoyFriend-BoilingPointForces;MaPa-MeltingPointPacking;Chickeeeeen;Dehydrohalogenation;
TobascoSauce;Phenolphthalein;Caramel;CisTransIsomer;
OhGloria!

Genevieve says:
no more apple bottom jeans
Genevieve says:
it's gloria's bottom jeans

MY BRAINS ARE SATURATED. Like Alkanes. OMG Great I'm Nothing But Chemistry Now. Shut Up Aline ><

5 days of the New Year has past, and I'm keeping up to some of my New Year's resolutions already.

#1. I'm spending more time with my parents, helping Mummy out at her new shop which is pretty cool, collecting cash as the Boss's daughter. I still get bullied by some fierce fat auntie who raises her voice when we don't have the size to fit her huge body.

#2. I'm making a conscious effort to walk faster, at least keep pace with those around me, so far I haven't really lagged yet.

#3. I'm studying for my Chem R-paper now, I'm more into the exam mood already. 4 hours at Esplanade with The Mama & The Sister was more productive for me than if I were to study at home.

#4. Soccer? Yes I'm glad to say that the talk by the 3 of them on the 1st trng helped a lot after it has started to set in. I'm all prepared, come get me!

Anyway, BAFC match last Saturday was good, although we lost 3-1, everyone played well and it was inspiring. However, SMU match 2 days ago was not good, although we won 5-0. Disappointed in my own performance, but that shall not deter me from anything. I'll train even harder and try to be consistent in my own performance. (: I'M ALL FIRED UP!

Belated New Year's dinner with family yesterday at Ichiban Sushi. It was super shiok, I almost burst at the seams/ I feel good, I just used the present Korkor bought for me for Xmas, some peppermint foot soak from Body Shop, to revive tired feet. Hah! It was shiok as well, though pretty troublesome ><

OMG I need a new New Year's Resolution---To Lose Weight! At least 3 Freaking KG! I'm gaining at an insane rate, thanks to the amount I'm eating to replenish my hungry body after trng ))): I need to stop SNACKING! Slap me silly if I eat Junk! Hello Panda is not counted because its my current favourite, but I will limit to at most 1 pack a day HAHA!

The very first training of 2009 today. Started off with quite a surprise plus the love letters and all! I really enjoyed Long Run today. The Under 16 girls weren't there with us today because they have started dreaded school!

Bus ride with her was really different today, it has not been like this for quite a while. I'm not good with words, and all the more worse with expressing my feelings. It was really weird and awkward for a while, for me. I'm just glad its all out, all that I want to say, all that I've been keeping inside me for quite some time. I really hope that this whole thing will not affect any part of our friendship, I promise to be there for you, to support you all the way, so long as you don't turn anal! XD I'll help you in whatever way I can, but please let me be myself, although I know I'm one who is easily influenced. *grins*beams*pokes*psstpsst*nudge* All the way friend, I'll be here always!

40 min LATE for tuition.
4 hours LATE to meet my Jappy Friends.
I really missed them, and the fun times we used to have, especially in Japan! Met them for a game of pool followed by dinner, where Fiona almost 'fought' with the cleaning auntie! It's a pity we all couldn't stay longer for more chat and catching up. The world is really small I realised, how everyone is indirectly connected to another. Well I guess its just Singapore, its tiny! If we stay in Singapore our whole life without viewing the world, our vision will get so clouded and all we know are people who already know each other, and the cycle repeats itself...日本行きたい

New Year 2009 was spent in a different and new manner this year. I tried to strike a balance between family and friends already. Turned up at family gathering, at the insistence of my mum's and my dearest little cousins, who sure knows how to make a girl feel GUILTY! Countdown was at Coach's, with generations of 4 plus coaches. BBQ, The Noose, Taboo and just chit chatting.

Pretty tame as compared to previous years' countdown. I miss waiting by the water till the skies get dark, playing cards with Jeaness until we got caught on the Newspaper camera, camwhoring until the Fireworks lit the beautiful night scene and it was another year again. Smoshing our bodies with the crazy crowd just to get to the train station, tired by happy, all grinning because we saw fireworks.

Still, last night was pretty fun and interesting. Stayed over at Tano's, had good chat until we both zonked out. Prata in the morning, thanks the TanoPapa for the treat, all the rides and for imposing! Travelled far and wide to Mummy's New Shop which just opened today at the New Market in AMK. I love the shop, its pretty, its huge and it has really good feng shui, just in front of the toilet! XD! But business was really hella good today, maybe the toilet does bring good fortune, after peeing, people wanna shop, thats my theory. I'd love spending time with my parents, which I got to the whole afternoon today (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICH HEAH/SMALLIE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC SIM!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE!

and

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!
I hope I'd like you better than 2008!

I Miss You By Blink One Eight Two