Its been quite a while, so many things had come and gone, chances wasted, opportunities no more. Looking back, its just a taste of regret. My wish is still there, but my goal has become more of a dream. I'm doing all I can to get it back, if only you would listen and open your eyes to see.

Highlights of the past few days:

-CNY celebrations in school - kinda boring. Paid $1 for the Yusheng that I didn't eat and didn't 'lo'. Thai Pan with the class, followed by trng.

-Chinese New Year
Hong Baos, gambling, pineappletarts-Cookies-Loveletters-Yusheng-Bakkwa, New clothes, visiting. Lost quite a bit of money gambling :/ Was so tired out from helping Mummy at her shop the days before CNY.

-Back to school. Getting sick and tired of it. Sick like literally, I hope my voice don't turn bad, I'm doing all I can to get it right now. The gallons of water I'm gulping down..Oh Shucks I feel like a water balloon.

-Friendly against BAFC yesterday. Lost ): Went for a run after the match with Grace Su. Felt like the first time I ran with her side by side, it felt good. A good run to clear my head and reflect silently, with only the sound of footsteps and the breeze from ECP.

-Teamlunch at Subway. Napped. Family gathering. Gambled again (it's still within the 15 days of CNY) - won some recess money yay (:

Some CNY peeeekturesNing and her fetish for skinned duck!

Stay strong my dear, I'll always love you.

Life's a fking bitch.

Is there any more to say?

I'm so overloaded with emotions, I feel like on the verge of a breakdown. But its too early, I tell myself, I gotta stay strong, its only half a month of January. I've got a lot of things inside my head, its bugging me much, I wanna talk to someone, but no one. So many issues in my head, bugging me constantly. I'm trying to put on a facade, a facade of happiness, but I guess its not working. BloodyHell I feel like shit totally. And I know I'm not one who will seek someone just to talk about whatever's bugging me. Forget it Aline Chan, get a life!

I gotta be Strong
I gotta be Independent

Trng sucked totally for me today. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus well, I couldn't get my left leg kicks right today, I couldn't see cause of the stupid blinding sun, ugh I hated myself so much today, I felt like kicking myself ! Asshole!

And I just can't stop thinking about it.

I feel so cheated today and I can't understand why. I guess I never will because I have never really been able to. I keep telling myself to forget it. I keep trying to think of an alternative reason why so, or should I say excuse, but the matter just keeps bugging me at the back of my head. Arrgghh please go away and let me be alone in this world. I can't stand it when it changes so quickly, its like the freaking weather. You always make me sad, I don't know why I'm still here. One letter suffice: The letter L.

Hate that I love you.

So school's started, its day 2 and I'm feeling the tiredness already. Thank goodness there's some sexy talk tomorrow, a good day to take a break. School's been nothing but yawns and laughter, especially meeting up with my classmates after so long. Wanling, my laughing partner is back, and to add on to our PC and IPC, we found SIPC! Mandy my slow-walker is back too, and I've decided to dissolve my resolution of 'fast walk'. I've rediscovered the joy of walking slowly, too much influence from the soccer peeps during the hols I guess, that I've to make a conscious effort to walk fast. Of course, Weiting Yanyi Fang who always walk fast, seems like Yanyi have joined the dark side.

Nothing much different about school, except that we end earlier most days, and I'm paying more attention in tutorials and lectures XD! B-O-R-I-N-G!

O's results were out yesterday. I really really wish that all our juniors can make it to VJ, by hook or by crook, through appeal or just barging their way in, its never nice to lose anyone. IJ juniors did better than our batch, but..owells comparing us to schools like Cedar and St Nicks, I have nothing to say :/ My cousin did really well, and I'm so proud of him. Yesterday felt like a day of tension, even though it had nothing much to do with me. I was staring at my phone, waiting for texts from my juniors, hoping in fear that they will text back with a smile instead of unspoken sadness.

We got back our 16PF today today. One of my comments was : I spend too much time WISHING that things will be easier or to fix themselves. HAHA!